So I've finally beat out my excessive daydreaming disorder....if it was a disorder at all.

I think I'm near the point of losing complete interest in studying. Graduation seems like a dream right now...

i'm supposed to start my thesis next sem...and yet right now I am taking a subject for freshmen, and unbelievably failing a Math subject. My self esteem has gone even lower...i dunno why I am even wasting my parents' money...maybe I should just tell them to disown me so I can feel like a complete loser.

I'm a loser now, no matter how much I pretend otherwise. I barely make enough money to support my drinking, smoking, and shopping expenses. And who the hell am i to have vices when my life is already fucked up without those. I guess I should just go away...and have myself killed by a ten wheeler truck in the highway

I'm a failure. I don't want people to look at me and see the potential I had, and then see the reality which is myself...the embodiment of FAILURE. Why am i not good enough for them? Why am I not good enough for my professors? Why am I not good enough for men? Why am I not good enough for my parents?

Is it so wrong to be imperfect? Damn it why is it so wrong to be weak? Did you love me because I was perfect, and now you abandon me because my life has been so fucked up lately? Am I no longer worthy of being loved?

Am i really that rotten now? If i am, tell me please. So i can rid this world of a rotten being at least.